Just because you are getting divorced doesn’t mean it can’t be peaceful. This guide shows 7 helpful tips on how to divorce amicably.
Did you know that divorces affect people’s mental health? If you want to learn how to separate peacefully, we can help.
In this guide, we’ll go over how to divorce amicably.
Want to learn more? Keep reading.
1. See the Broader Picture
Conflict during the divorce process comes from old anger, grudges, and hurt.
If you go into the process with a negative and vengeful attitude, nothing will be civil. You’re going to need to come to the table without the blame.
Avoid creating a list of past wrongs. If you want to hash out all the old hurts in the lawyer’s office, you’ll end up arguing.
Leave the past behind. Focus on your future and what’s coming. You’ll need a plan for your next chapter. Think about what you want to do, how you’ll get there, and the possibilities.
2. Negotiate in a Fair Manner
If you want to end things on good terms, you’ll want to focus on being fair and honest. Don’t hide things, underreport assets, or try to get more than your fair share.
Show that you’re serious about having a fair and honest divorce by being honest.
You don’t have to agree on how everything will get divided. You’ll have a mediator and lawyer to help with these things.
Provide honest and accurate information to your lawyer and mediator. If you hide things, you could end up dragging out the divorce process. You’ll have to spend more on lawyer fees.
If you still need to find a divorce lawyer, learn what to ask during a divorce consultation
3. Make Your Children the Priority
If you have children, you’ll want to make sure your kids are the priority and focus on having an amicable divorce. You’re going to need to deal with your ex-spouse in the future.
You’ll have school graduations, weekends away, and sharing baby showers and weddings.
With a childless divorce, papers will get signed, and you won’t have to see your ex again. Everything is different when you have children. A divorced couple will still need to co-parent.
You will end up being in one another’s life for a long time. Aim to have a civil and good relationship. Put your kids first. You’ll notice a change in the quality of your divorce process.
Be honest with your ex and yourself about what’s best for your children. Get a mediator before getting an aggressive divorce lawyer.
The mediator helps you work as co-parents and not against each other as litigants.
Write up a parenting plan with your ex. Explain to your children what to expect after the divorce. Get everything in writing, and create a contract. Discuss potential consequences if your ex doesn’t honor the contract.
4. Get a Mediator Right Away
Before you get your lawyers, you’ll want to focus on finding a mediator. The mediator could cost around 7000 dollars.
A divorce lawyer could cost over 25,000. A divorce lawyer works for you and your interests.
A mediator is a neutral third party. The mediator focuses on finding an agreeable compromise for both parties.
Mediation won’t work for everyone. If you want to have discussions, be flexible, and come up with an agreement that works for both, get a mediator.
Nasty divorces hurt everyone involved. You will feel emotionally and financially devastated after a complicated process. Also, divorce can become traumatic for children as well.
Look to find common ground. Be fair and open. Take advantage of your support systems. You don’t need to like your ex, but you will have to deal with them in the future if you have kids.
5. Don’t Make Sudden Changes
If you’re the one responsible for paying family bills, continue to do so until you reach an agreement. Figure out how you will handle expenses moving forward.
You shouldn’t spend significant money or withdraw a lot without the consent of your ex. Don’t go on a trip to Europe or buy a brand new vehicle.
Make an arrangement with your financial institution. This way, the bank will need signatures for withdrawals from investment and savings accounts.
6. See a Doctor or Therapist
Divorce can devastate the children and adults involved. Serious emotional issues will arise for the children and the separating couple. You may experience it during the end of the relationship and during the separation.
The emotional issues won’t fix themselves. You can look into different approaches to counseling. Decide what will work best for you and your family. Most people don’t want to get involved in counseling.
Yet, there are pragmatic and behavior-based methods that will help. With therapy, you can get a better understanding of how to communicate as a co-parent. Learn how to handle feelings if your ex finds a new partner.
Also, unresolved emotional issues will interfere with the resolution of legal issues. One person might refuse to engage in discussion. Another might get stuck on an issue or cause conflict.
You’ll end up seeing a massive delay in your divorce process. Consider getting counseling so you can learn how to manage your emotions during this difficult time.
Get advice on how to best support your children, as well.
Now You Know How to Divorce Amicably
We hope this guide on the divorce process was helpful. Now that you know how to divorce amicably work hard to stay honest and respectful.
Don’t go into the meetings hoping to discuss past issues and hurts. Get a mediator to help with the entire process.
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